требуется помощь знатоков

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  • Последнее сообщение 31 марта 2011 07:21
valentina138 написал 30 декабря 2009 05:16

Уважаемые участники форума!


Я люблю англоязычную литературу, много читаю. Однажды я написала стихотворение для ребенка, но сейчас переработала его и хочу попросить вас оценить его и указать на мои ошибки. Стихотворение посвящено слову "Play". Стихотворение длинное, но у слова богатая фразеология и хотелось включить в стихотворение более интересные значения.
Больше всего меня волнует рифма и порядок построения стихотворения, потому что со стороны недостатки виднее.
Буду благодарна за конструктивную критику.


If you an Englishman or Englishwoman, I'll be very grateful, if you estimate my verse. I don't think it's ideal. I had written it for myself on the spur of moment, but I would like to know where and how many mistakes I had made in the making it.





Prologue

There is a lot of figurative sense in word "play"
At one moment of our life we can play very fair,
But at black one we can play false as any live man,
Being on the verge of breaking the rule, as proved.
You have to read the verse over and understand it too,
Some of more interesting meanings of word "play",
But a lot ones was left to other persons who is interested
In phraseology of English words, how I do now, indeed
Thanks to ABBY Lingvo, Polyglossum, Prompt, Oxford's
And to others of electronic and various paper dictionaries
From Collins, Marder, Мюллер, Кудрявцев, Винокуров etc,
We'll move on from the beginners to the advanced level,
We'll enjoy very much reading English books in the original.




Plays of our life

Our life so much is connected with plays,
Ever since childhood till the declining years.
Not a day passes without children's games,
Children like to play in many of their ones,
Every new day they play a games again:
One day to play a bit with toys and girls,
Next day for boys to play with playfellows,
One day to play with dolls, boys and pets,
Next day for girls to play with playmates,
One day to play cat and mouse and play-act
Some day they begin to play tennis, hockey etc,
To end up to play next the championship match.


If one fine day when you'll be feeling
The play of music in your young soul,
Then you'll begin to take music lessons.
There will be so many days of heavy work,
To play the grand opera or play hard rock.
The end justifies the means for you at last,
And as being the music star you'll be ready
To play all of it on world's famous stages,
And many years you'll be crowning glory,
And you'll do credit to your native country!

In your teens you'll play a games as ever,
Because it will be the very time as well:
To play a good knife and fork at the dinners,
To play pranks and play the rogue at times,
To play the ass and play the baby rarely,
To play a two and two together by spells,
"To play truant and play foul not so often,
"
To play at their own game on foul blow,
When there is your life and death struggle.

Then will come up a time in your life,
When you'll begin to play a new games:
You'll be ready to bring it to a top of perfection
With your young ardour and determination:
The play of your smile and play of eyes,
The play on nerves and play on feelings,
The play on innocence or play on odds,
The play of words and play of moods,
The play of wits and play of big fancy.

There's a lot of fun in bloom of youth,
If you are always in mood and vigorous:
To play all sort of tricks and be so proud,
To play the clown and play the dozens,
To play fair and not play fast and loose,
To play past-office and yet play handies,
To play the femmes and play the footsies,
To play upon ones words and heartstrings,
To play the spark to girl and do it properly,
To play a lot around with the girls or boys,
To play a waiting game or a winning one.

The journey from youth to maturity is ended
You grew up and became mature at last!
There's so many games you can really choose.
Besides, your games become very serious.
You have to decide which of games soon
Will take place in your life now and thus:
You can play the man or play the devil,
Play the market, only when you wish,
With great hope to gain big net yield;
Play patience or play politics instead
With many of great men on your side;
Play on the stage so many years all along
For the sake of true love to dramatic art,
It is such heavy work to play the opera;
Play a lot of tricks and play pranks as well
For the sake of big love to a mischief's,
Play silent game or play to the gallery,
If you'll have what to say to many people;
Play with fire and play duck and drakes
With heaps of your money on the stakes,
Play the horserace for you every season -
May be as sign of your own noble origin,
Or are you the very famous horsebreeder?
Or are you a gambler on the horseraces?
Play a joke or play a tricks on many women -
It mean you'll be ready to take back the same;

There is so many games you have to play
Day by day and many years of your adult life,
And some one to quit yourself from these:
To play the great man or play the woman,
To play the lead or play the wanton only,
To play the host or play havoc with your life,
To play the fool and play the deuce at times,
To play for your pleasure and play to gratify,
To play for high stakes or play for love's sake,
To play fair always or play it low on your wife,
To play cards well or play a bit for own delight,
To play for safety or play a winning game,
To play it close to the vest and play for time,
To play safe for you'll be better safe than sorry
However, don't play the hell with your life,
Don't play possum with a person's hopes,
And play it cool when you'll come into play,
And better play your hands for all it is worth,
Then every day can bring success in your life.
To play on a emotions of crowd is very dangerous because of
All destructive consequences from acts of mob and its wild laws.
Oh, god forbid, to experience this once more, as we all know,
As it had been done once in a massacre of St. Bartholomew
And had been continued up at cruel Die Nacht der Kristallmesser.

For many people's so much interested in sex
Some of the old games will be soon starting.
It is what we'll call as the love games, in jest,
And these games are as old as the world and
For no one of us it is secret, so thanks to slang,
It is time for each playboy, playgirl and plaything
To play these just once, once more, or tenfold:
To play these with great strength or a last bit of one,
From generation to generation all over the world,
With love, passion, the might, the lust and compassion:

To play the ace against the jack is for playgirls;
To play musical chairs and play the organ is
For much of our men, husbands and spouses;
To play the goat and play top-and-bottoms is
For much of a play-arounders and of old players;
To play doctor and nurse or play the back nine is
For eager playthings in any time of day and night;
"To play the field so many years in a row, as seen, is
"
For a studs and tom-cats with a great heat, indeed.
If you play it low-down on your wife all your life,
There is chance for each of playdaddy in future
To play on the railroad lines for all theirs sins.

Valentina Polonska

VlasovDim написал 31 марта 2011 07:21

обалдеть! эт ж надо так.... ! вы просто молодец

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